A Million Blessings Read online

  The men nodded their acceptance of his plan.

  “I know coming here talking to me this way was hard,” Andrew said, “but you did the right thing, and I appreciate it. You’re right about me making a statement to the congregation, too. I’ll do it next Sunday, I hope with Sandra by my side. I just ask that you all pray for us and our boys.”

  “We’ll start now,” Jacob said. And they did.

  Chapter 21

  Sandra sat in the passenger seat of her mom’s Hyundai Santa Fe. Her kids played quietly in the backseat with their Nintendo DS Systems. She looked toward the front door of the McCorry home. “I don’t think I can do this, Mom.”

  Her mom reached for her hand, squeezed it. “Yes, you can. Deciding to come here was the hardest step. These people have been your spiritual leaders and friends for all your married life. They were the ones who first recognized God’s plans for you and Andrew. It’s right that you go to them now in your time of need.”

  She met her mother’s eyes. “If only we’d listened to their counsel.”

  Her mom shook her head. “Don’t play the ‘what if’ game, Sandra. You are where you are. You’ve learned and grown from it. I’m proud of you.”

  Sandra wiped away a tear. She was a regular waterfall these days. “That’s a bit of stretch, Mom.”

  “Not at all. When the time came to make the hard decision, you made it. And you’re going to see it through to the end. You just need some help, which is why you’re here today.”

  “How did I forget how smart you were?”

  Ida inclined her head to the boys in the backseat. “You’ll get your payback as those two back there grow up.”

  Sandra laughed, surprised she could do so. “I love you, Mom,” she said.

  “I know you do, baby. I love you, too.”

  She lifted the door handle. “It’s time,” she said.

  “Call me when you’re ready and we’ll come back and pick you up.”

  Sandra nodded. “Bye, boys,” she said as she stepped out of the car. “Have fun with Grandma.”

  “We will,” the boys chimed.

  Sandra stood waving while her mother pulled away from the McCorry home. When her mom was out of sight, she turned toward the house. Vickie opened the front door and met her on the walkway. When she gave her a big hug, Sandra began to weep.

  “There, there,” Vickie said, keeping her close as she walked her into the house. “Everything is going to be all right.”

  By the time Sandra pulled herself together, she was seated on the couch in the McCorry living room with Vickie sitting next to her and Pastor in a chair facing her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to cry all over you.”

  “No need to be sorry,” Vickie said. “We’re family.”

  Sandra wiped at her nose with a handkerchief Vickie had given her. “Are we?”

  “I can’t believe you’re asking,” Pastor said. “I thought we had cleared the air more than six months ago when we met at the TV studio. We’ve never been against you and Andrew, Sandra. We just thought you were moving in the wrong time. But we came to accept it and to pray for your ministry.”

  “I know,” she said. “But things have gone so wrong. If only we had listened to you.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up about the past, Sandra,” Vickie said. “You can’t change it, but you can correct course for the future.”

  Sandra nodded, accepting their compassion. “I don’t know where to start.”

  Pastor leaned forward. “Since you and the boys have been coming to Praise City services for the last month or so, we’ve gathered that all is not well with you and Andrew. Why don’t you start there?”

  Sandra took comfort in his forthrightness. This was the pastor she knew and loved. She took a deep breath. “Andrew’s a compulsive gambler,” she said, pushing the words out quickly before she lost her courage. “He has been since before we were married.”

  Vickie sat back on the couch. “I had no idea.” She glanced at her husband. “Did you?”

  He shook his head. “Not a clue. I can’t believe we were as close as we were and I didn’t know.”

  Sandra laughed a dry laugh. “Don’t feel badly. We worked hard to keep it a secret from you, from everybody. I didn’t find out until a few years after we were married. The only reason I did was that the gambling got so out of hand that we were on the verge of losing everything—the house, the cars, everything. It was an awful time, but somehow Andrew got us through it. When he did, he promised his gambling days were over.”

  “And of course they weren’t,” Pastor said. “I know he didn’t come to me, but did he go to anyone for help? Did you?”

  She shook her head. “He said he could manage on his own, and I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I didn’t want people to think less of us. Andrew was a deacon then. I feared for his status.”

  Vickie rubbed her shoulder. “Oh, Sandra, that was the least of your worries. We would have helped. We love you and Andrew.”

  “Our world seemed to be falling down all around us, and it was hard to believe anyone loved us. I even doubted God’s love for a while.”

  “Oh, no,” Vickie said, her voice full of compassion. “God’s love never waned. Never.”

  “Has Andrew started gambling again?” Pastor asked. “Is that the problem?”

  Sandra nodded. “That’s part of the problem. This is Andrew’s third lapse. His second one was right before we got his inheritance, which really wasn’t an inheritance. Andrew had taken us to the brink again. As he had done the first time, he used gambling to get us out of trouble. This time he played the lottery and won.”

  Vickie gasped.

  Pastor sank back in his chair. “All this inheritance talk was a lie?”

  Sandra hated the disappointment she saw on their faces. “Even though we considered the winnings a blessing, we knew others, especially you and Vickie, wouldn’t think so. We couldn’t tell you the truth, so we made up a lie.”

  Pastor began shaking his head. “I fear I haven’t been a good pastor to you and Andrew, and I’m sorry for it. I should have known something was off. I did know, but I thought it was Andrew’s overeagerness to have his own church.”

  “So did I,” Vickie said. “And I’m sorry you and Andrew felt you couldn’t come to us with the truth. Did you think we’d turn you away?”

  Sandra nodded. “By this time, Andrew was an associate pastor. Praise City couldn’t have a gambling addict on its pastoral staff.”

  “You’ve got that wrong, Sandra. We couldn’t have let him continue in the role unless he was getting help for his problem. Andrew’s not the only one in the congregation with a gambling problem. God could have used your situation for good if you two had been honest. I’m just sorry you felt we’d judge you and cast you out.”

  Sandra was sorry, too. “I believe that now, but I didn’t believe it then. My mother told me more than once that the lie to cover up the gambling only compounded the problem. I didn’t want to hear it. All I saw was the money and the opportunity to have our own church. And I saw you and Vickie as trying to hold us back.”

  They all three sat quietly. “So where are you two now?” Pastor asked.

  “Andrew’s gambling again, and we’re back at the brink again. And this time we’ve brought the church into it. I finally see that we have to get off this roller coaster. Andrew can’t fix this problem in secret. He needs help. We need help.”

  “And we’re here to help you.”

  Sandra accepted the truth of the pastor’s words. She’d been lost since she and the kids moved to the farm, not seeing how she and Andrew could overcome their problems. For the first time since she left him, she felt hope for their future.

  Chapter 22

  Andrew’s excitement grew as he made his way through traffic and got closer to home. For the first time in a long time, his wife would be waiting for him when he walked through the door. He turned up the CD and allowed Luther Vandross to fill his heart and min
d. He felt a reconciliation coming on tonight. And he had seduction in mind, too. He’d enlisted Mr. Vandross and Mrs. Willis to help him accomplish his goals. He had instructed Mrs. Willis to prepare a romantic dinner, complete with soft lights, soft music, and food for love. He was taking no chances. He’d even had the cook prepare an oyster dish.

  He was practically giddy when he pulled his 7 Series BMW into the garage and saw Sandra’s Mercedes SUV already there. She’d told him she was coming early so she could pick up a few more of the boys’ things. If everything went according to plan, she wouldn’t be taking another piece of clothing out of their home.

  He hummed the lyrics to Luther’s “A House Is Not A Home” as he made his way into the house. He knew he should shower and get refreshed before he saw Sandra, but he couldn’t wait to set his eyes on her. He greeted Mrs. Willis, who told him his wife was in the family room. He fought for composure, but he was too excited about the possibilities. He practically ran to the family room.

  He stopped short when he entered the doorway and saw not only Sandra, but her parents, the McCorrys, and the members of his leadership team seated in his family room. “I didn’t know this was going to be a party,” he said to cover his disappointment and anxiety. Why are they all gathered here?

  Sandra stood and met him at the doorway. “I invited them, Andrew,” she said. “Come and sit with us.”

  Andrew had no choice but to obey his wife. To do otherwise would only cause a scene. Knowing his plans for the evening with Sandra were now moot, he prepared himself for the turn of events. “It’s my house,” he said, with a bit of levity, “but I’m feeling like the guest here. What’s going on?”

  “I guess you could call this an intervention, Andrew,” Pastor McCorry said, making Andrew think he was the leader of this gang. “We’re here because we love you and Sandra and want to see you both on the right road.”

  Andrew glanced at his wife. Then he turned back to the pastor. “If that’s true, you would have done better to let my wife and me have some private time rather than turn our evening together into a group meeting.”

  “I invited them, Andrew,” Sandra said again. “Too much between us has been kept private. It’s time to bring it all out into the open.”

  Andrew just stared at her. She couldn’t be about to do what he thought she was about to do. “Some things need to remain between a man and his wife,” he said.

  “Some things,” Pastor McCorry said, “but not all things.”

  Sandra put her hand on his arm, and he turned to her. “They all know, Andrew. I’ve told them everything.”

  Andrew shook off her hand. “What do you mean everything?”

  “It means we all know about the gambling, Andrew,” Jacob said. “We know about the lottery money, and we know about you borrowing money from the church without approval.”

  Andrew sucked in a deep breath, feeling as though he’d been gut punched. He shot Sandra a hot look. “How could you?” he demanded.

  She didn’t waver. “Everything I’ve done has been out of love. You may not see it now, but I hope you will someday.”

  “I don’t have to listen to this,” Andrew said, getting up.

  “Yes, you do,” his father-in-law said. “If you care anything about your wife and children, you’ll sit there and listen.”

  Andrew sank down in his chair, unable to defy Grady. “I’m staying,” he said. “Let’s get on with it.”

  Ignoring Andrew’s petulance, Pastor McCorry said, “There are three phases to an intervention. The first is where the loved ones share how the addiction has affected them. The second is where the options for help and recovery are presented. And the third is where a decision is made. We’ll go in order.”

  Rob took a deep breath. “You lied to us, Pastor. You lied to us when you asked us to join you and Sandra at Showers of Blessings, and you lied when we came to you last week and told you about the rumors. We trusted you, and you lied to us. It hurts. And it makes us angry. Why couldn’t you tell us the truth? If not in the beginning, then why didn’t you come clean last week when we met with you? It was the perfect opportunity.”

  Jacob chimed in. “Our anger is not just for us. It’s for all the members of Showers of Blessings. A scandal like this can make folks lose faith in church and in God. What pains me most is that you’ve been thinking more about yourself than the souls you were entrusted with. How could you forget them?”

  Andrew sat up straighter. “Nobody here cares more about Showers of Blessings than I do. Nobody here has given more to that ministry than I have, not financially, not emotionally. Say what you will about my gambling, but it has not affected the church.”

  “How can you say that, Andrew?” Sandra said. “You stole money from the church to repay a gambling debt. You stood in the pulpit and lied about the status of our relationship. How can you say your gambling hasn’t affected the church?”

  “I borrowed that money,” Andrew said, “and I’ll pay it all back.”

  “We’re getting off track here,” Pastor McCorry said. “Does anyone else want to speak to how Andrew’s gambling has affected them?”

  Grady cleared his throat. “It’s no secret, Andrew, that I didn’t think you were the man for my daughter when I first met you. I’m saddened to find out I was right. She’s had to deal with the stress of living with a gambler. I can only imagine how insecure that’s made her feel over the years. Stress and shame are what you’ve given my daughter, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive you for it.” He glanced at Sandra. “I’m willing to try, though, for her sake.”

  Andrew loved his father-in-law, but he couldn’t deal with his hypocrisy. Not now when his whole life was on the line. “I don’t know how you can be so judgmental, Grady. It’s not like you haven’t dealt with addiction yourself.”

  “You’re right,” Grady said. “That’s why I wanted Sandra to find a man better than I was. I wanted her to know the security that comes with a spouse you can lean on. Her mother tried to provide stability for her when she was growing up, but she could only do so much because my very presence made life for both of them unstable. I wanted more than that for Sandra in her marriage. Right now, I wish I had done more to end your relationship back then.”

  “Dad!” Sandra said. “You don’t mean that.”

  “Yes, I do, Sandra. Pastor McCorry said we were supposed to be honest, and I’m just being honest.”

  Andrew had no response to his father-in-law’s truth. Sorrow began to gnaw in his belly. He wanted to provide stability for Sandra and his kids. He wanted nothing more than that.

  Nothing but the gambling, a voice said in his mind.

  “I hate to say this,” Jacob’s wife, Pam, said, “but I’m disappointed with both of you. I know it’s wrong, but I’m angry, too. More angry with First Lady than with Pastor.”

  “You can’t blame Sandra for any of this,” Andrew said, defending his wife. “She’s an innocent in all of it.”

  “No, she’s not,” Rob’s wife, Gloria, said. “She’s as much to blame for the situation we’re in as you, if not more. In a way, you have an excuse because you have an addiction. She doesn’t have that excuse. She knew your problem and kept quiet. If she had spoken up, we wouldn’t be here today.”

  “That’s not fair—” Andrew began.

  Sandra put her hand on his arm again. “I appreciate your coming to my defense, but Gloria is right. You needed help, Andrew, but instead of forcing you to get that help, I covered for you. Things couldn’t have gotten this far out of hand without my compliance.”

  “You can’t blame yourself,” he said.

  “It’s not about blame,” Sandra said. “It’s about learning from our mistakes and not repeating them. My mistake was not to love you enough to force the issue before now. I’m sorry for that.”

  “I want to say something,” Vickie said, causing all eyes to turn to her. “I’m hurt and disappointed that you and Sandra didn’t feel comfortable enough to come to
me and Pastor with your problem. We accept some of the blame for that. We should have done a better job of making you feel welcome and accepted. We failed at that, and we’re eternally sorry.”

  “We also should have done a better job of explaining why we raged against the lottery so often,” Pastor McCorry said. “It’s not the lottery that’s the sin. The sin comes when we look to the lottery instead of looking to God. The sin comes when the lottery brings harm to us and our families. We should have made that clear.”

  Andrew felt the sincerity of the McCorrys, and it was a balm to his aching heart. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find the words to express to them what he had been thinking back then and why he’d come to the conclusions he had.

  “We’ll let that wrap up phase one,” Pastor McCorry said. “Now let’s move to phase two. It’s pretty clear that you need help, Andrew. At least, it’s clear to us, and we hope it’s clear to you.”

  “I’m handling things,” Andrew said. “They just got out of hand for a minute.”

  “Oh, Andrew,” Sandra said. “It so much more than that. Can’t you see?”

  “You have to take a sabbatical from Showers of Blessings,” Jacob said. “You need to make a statement to the church, an honest statement telling them what’s happened and that you need the time to get well.”

  “I’m not stepping down,” Andrew said. “I built Showers of Blessings. It wouldn’t exist were it not for me.”

  Jacob shook his head. “We built Showers of Blessings, and it’ll withstand this scandal. It’ll thrive, too, but how much and how long it will take will depend on you. You can resist stepping down, make folks in the congregation choose. But what would you have left? A split church and a lot of wounded souls. I don’t believe you want that, Andrew.”